The relationship between the past, identity and the possibility of change was one of the axes that it addressed Gabriel Rolon during an interview with THE NATION. In this context, the psychologist resorted to one of the best-known phrases of the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre: “We are what we do with what they made of us”.

The reflection appeared while analyzing how experiences, bonds and memories build the personality of each individual. For Rolón, Personal history has a profound influence, but does not absolutely define who someone can become..

In that sense, the specialist explained that Many times people are trapped between nostalgia for an idealized past and the expectation of future happiness.instead of trying to build well-being in the present.

What does Sartre’s phrase mean?

The idea taken up by Rolón belongs to the existentialist thought of Jean-Paul Sartrewho maintained that people are not completely determined by the circumstances they experienced, but rather They retain a margin of freedom to decide what to do with what happened to them.

“We are what we do with what they made of us”the psychologist quoted during the interview. The phrase points to a central tension of existentialism: although no one completely chooses their familial, social, or emotional context, they can choose how to respond to those marks.

For Rolón, Memories and experiences “made things about us”but that does not mean that we are condemned to repeat them automatically.

The weight of memories in personal construction

During the talk, the psychologist also reflected on the way in which people emotionally reconstruct the past. “Memory is a very particular and enigmatic place, because it is the place where “We keep the things we have lost so that death does not take them forever.”he pointed out.

As he explained, memory usually goes through a kind of “editing” over time. “We do like an edition, a photoshop of the memories”said.

In that way, figures from the past —like parents, childhood, or certain happy moments— may end up being remembered in a more idealized way than they really were. However, Rolón clarified that this does not invalidate the emotional value of these experiences, because they are part of each person’s identity.

How experiences influence who we are

Towards the end of the reflection, Rolón listed different moments that help build identity: the excitement of childhood, the first discoveries, emotional ties or important decisions of youth.

“He who can be happy today is the one who was excited at five with his first guitar, at 12 when he went with his father to live in the country for two years, at 18 when he started his first university degree,” he exemplified.